If Musiq Be The Food Of Love Play On

Wow. U2 definitely. (I know, predictable, right?) But they're the band for me. Thing about U2 though is that it'd just feel so odd to imagine yourself replacing one of the members...because more than any other band, U2 are all about the interaction between the personalities of Bono, Larry, Adam and Edge than between instruments. Still I'd love to be a part of what they're doing. To have stayed the biggest band in the world for 3 decades is no mean feat. To be still producing amazing music like on No Line On The Horizon...well what can you say.

So here's goodbye to the troubles of yesteryear.

Goodbye to all that could have been, and to all that never will be.

To the closest friends, thank you for making a depressing year much more bearable.

Your subtle encouragement have pulled me through and your presence shall forever be welcome.

Here's to what will hopefully be, a good year.

So good luck and good night.

Maybe I spoke too soon. I DID try giving K time, and I guess he gave me time too. But now, I think the time we willingly gave unwillingly took away feelings. He pretends as if nothing happened between us before, and I talk to him like there's nothing special anymore. I'm appalled at myself, really. I thought ending the 'dating' period with no clean break wouldn't happen to me anymore. Thank God for friends.

It's only the 27th of the last month in the year, but I'm on my way to making sure that I stick to my resolutions. I'm going to quit smoking. I've only been at it for a year, so I don't see why I can't do it, right? The past week, I haven't had the dying urge to smoke as badly coz I was sick. I'm not going to buy a pack tomorrow. I'm quite convinced that I won't tomorrow. But wish me luck for the rest of the week. *fingers crossed*

I'm going to visit Kino or Borders more often. I am going to find my Ancient Egyptian history fiction to feed my love for it. If I don't spend on ciggs, I can definitely buy more books. Or buy more clothes. But my other resolution is to save my money. Lol.

I need to start cycling randomly again. Probably once every week during the weekend. I can't even walk to the TEP room without being breathless since I started smoking. Maybe get people who actually want to play amateur volleyball with me at the beach just to break into a sweat.

Oh yes, on a very random note. I will smile at my eyecandies in school just coz it's gonna be my last year in NYP. Just for the fun of it.

Someone left for Dubai/Abu Dhabi. We have a bookstore 'date' when he comes back. For now, I need to get ready for SI Grand Finale. I hope Charice sings Halo, she's my ultimate reason for going.

Heretic,
Nissa.

Yuletide season waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful; Christmas trees gorgeously illuminated and lining the streets, European shell-molded chocolates, gifts donned in the traditional red and green with gold and silver ribbons, the carolling of cherubic voices warming hearts and spirits, echoes of hosannahs filling the air. In attempt to capture this beauty I find myself breathing hard, breathing deep, breathing it in imprints upon my soul. Regardless, there's still this sense that I missed something, the collapsed feeling under my skin that I didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that I might have rushed right through the moments where I should’ve been paying attention.

Christmas morning. I awoke with a bittersweet memory; that night on your bed, alone with each other, fingers intertwined, warmth of your body pressed against mine, your heartbeat a lullaby serenading me into dreams as we fall asleep sharing each other's breath. I knew then, that there were certain places on the earth which naturally brought forth happiness, as a plant peculiar to the soil, and that cannot thrive elsewhere.

I close my eyes again, fall back into bed, inhale, and feel a rush of heat and energy that takes my breath away. It is the feeling of wanting something so much that it borders on an actual need, and the power and urgency of this need overwhelms me. This absence of you asphyxiates and wrecks me. To be in this unbearable state of want; like being so close I can taste your breath but the centimetres feel like infinity between our lips, is a sweet agony, a delicious torture.